Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
D3 body, D1 cock
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Sacagawea was the original milf.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
