Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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