You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
