A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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