I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
How does one acquire holy water?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
