we have officially lost it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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