Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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