Already got asked if we're dating
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
