She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
and you fell through a lawn chair
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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