y did u give ur computer a hand job?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
