so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
