I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
