is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
