hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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