i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
