So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
