apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
