At least make sure they are 18
Why
Small penises have feelings too.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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