we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
