on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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