Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
