I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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