It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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