theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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