Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
