If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
