If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
