I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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