maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A bitchslap is in order.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
