I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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