I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
