How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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