He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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