Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
