im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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