Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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(210): View more from Texas

Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.

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(939): View more from Puerto Rico

So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are

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