Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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