Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
