i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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