Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
