I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize