I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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