I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
