No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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