hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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