just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are these your boobs on my camera?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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