Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
