dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
