She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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