how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I would fuck him just for his dog
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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