i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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