I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
