i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
