I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
