Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize