sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
being pregnant is like rehab
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
