is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
