did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
