just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
