i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
